So why the headline? When I started focusing on living my dreams I had a couple things out of whack. First was my thinking that most people were like me and I could help everybody the same. Second was thinking I needed to work on my businesses and hustle harder, to allow me more time to work on healing myself more. I knew I had desires to help others, a desire to feel good and share it with the world and so much more. What I didn't realize at the time, my biggest fears would raise up as soon as I took the leap to live a life I dream of.
In my haste to run away from the long commute, Dis-Ease & stress filled job I had created. I was smacked in the face with the reality of no matter, where we go, there we are. I had brought the same person that had been stuck in survival mode with me, which then brought every fear I had at the time. I had made Plan B through I don't remember, lol to keep hustling in order to push the businesses to grow. That's what I knew, I only knew how to be a DOer, pushing through all the things that kept popping up and now working 18 to 20 hrs a day while failing miserably. I can look back now and know that I was attempting to build businesses based on service to others while being out of service for myself. I was at home but now I wasn't available 7 days a week as it was my business now. Which as some of you may already know, if our cup is empty & we try to fill others cups the shame, guilt, resentment, frustration & judgement shows up rather than with the Intention of Love, Compassion, Kindness & Understanding.
So here I was desiring to build our businesses to help others while enjoying time with family and friends. We had barely any money coming in, the back up plans I thought were in place came crashing down. Each time I went to Do Plan B by working harder my angels decided to show me it was my time to learn how to just Be. What that meant was Carpel tunnel flared up on right hand, got bit by a dog on Left hand (hard to drive, work, write & type in pain), lower back locking up, stomach flare ups, Sciatic flare ups, etc... and it continued to happen like that each time I went to go back to working hard. Each time I seemed to lose hope, get more depressed, anxious and thoughts of I'm not good enough, I'll Never be enough and no one even likes me or what I bring to the table anyway, why even go on.
What I know from 12 step rooms, counselors, energy medicine and all the things is...Happiness starts within...So I began the real work. The work to release the blocks & thoughts holding me back, the work to change the thinking patterns in me that I believed & spoke those things to myself and others. At that point I didn't know how to be any other way, the stuff I was told & told others, being hardcore coach & giving advice when I needed to listen to my own advice. Over the years I had said the positive things to people and myself but just didn't feel it in me, I was going through the motions & not taking the time to do the Inner work. In shear desperation as I was watching us lose everything Material wise, close to losing our home, didn't know how we were going to feed us and animals, the debt collector calls & threats and sheer desolation all alone because I didn't want to alarm my family. We sat down as a family and began communicating about what was going on with me and why I had closed off. I asked them for help with all this and while I was healing me so I could be there for them authentically with Love, Compassion, Kindness & understanding.
So I began doing the inner work Daily gratitude routine, affirmations, accountability partners(with love & compassion), Believing in me, doing AFT on a regular, Yoga on a regular and doing things that felt good to me. I went on a journey of learning what really brings me Joy. What I found was a plethora of beautiful things for joy and Love Best part is, they were Free, No excuses for appreciation and gratitude.. Speaking Love and encouragement in to myself. Speaking to myself and others as I had longed for others to speak and be there for me. And slowly but surely all those blocks began to shift and crumble. Today I live a life I love, it's always unfolding in beautiful amazing ways. One of the most rewarding for me was the shifts of thinking people only heard me when I was yelling and fierce, when actually most of us, close our ears & hearts when someone speaks to us that way. So embracing and loving my Inner Dragon has led me to a place I may Listen, Speak and Hear with Love, Compassion, Kindness & Understanding, more & more. I may not always do it with Grace, but I know I can admit I messed up, apologize and move forward while learning the lesson that showed up. So thankful for the opportunity to be on this side and enjoying life more and more, no matter that challenges, lessons and blessings in life.
Are you Ready to Embrace your Inner Dragon to live a life filled with more Love, Joy and Happiness than you ever Dreamed? We are ready to link arms with those Ready to leave the Stinking thinking in the past and Love ourselves from the inside out. We love and appreciate you Right where you are. Thank you
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